


The Best Part of Waking Up

by PizzaNSunshine



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Eventual Romance, Exploration, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Teamwork, minor language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 22:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PizzaNSunshine/pseuds/PizzaNSunshine
Summary: Sara Ryder is not a morning person. She needs coffee. Lots of it. And a reason -- a reason to rise up each day and tackle this unforgiving, new galaxy. One would think that being the last hope for all humanity would be enough, but it's not. Some days there is not enough caffeine in the entire Andromeda galaxy to keep a pathfinder going in the endless insanity. But when the coffee runs low, and the day seems bleak, having a battle buddy to lean on can turn the tide.





	1. Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys! So, I've just finished my first playthrough of the new Mass Effect Andromeda game and I loved it! So much that I've decided to TRY to write a fic...I'm not an experienced writer, so I'm begging you to please be nice :) This is pretty much my head canon of what is going on throughout the game with my Ryder...filling in the blanks between scenes or when I'm wondering what's going on inside of Sara's head. I've tweaked a few things on purpose. If you have a different head canon, awesome! If I've messed up some important detail, kindly let me know -- keyword being "kindly" :) This fic rides the Ryder/Kosta ship. Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Thanks for checking this out!
> 
> *I am writing chapters as I play through the game again. I am hoping to update on a weekly basis.

The first thing I remember about waking up in Andromeda is the dark and the cold. Yeah, I know, not the most pleasant of thoughts, but, to be fair, I was still in stasis. I became aware a few moments before the stasis wake-up sequence had completed. As I thawed, my mind began processing –– slowly at first, sluggishly almost. Looking back, it reminds me of those old fuel combustion engine vehicles that I had seen in some old vids from the 20th century. The ones that had been neglected for awhile and needed some extra patience to get started and running at top performance again.

It was a strange sensation, being aware but not being in control of my body. The cryo pod was performing most of my body’s basic functions for me – like breathing and blood circulation. I've been told that the process of transitioning a body from stasis without sending it into shock was exceptionally delicate and, if interrupted or rushed, could result in an untimely death.  _ Yeah, take your time, cryo pod. I choose life. _

I was aware but I literally couldn't bat an eyelash. It was dark and I could hear the whirring of the cryo pod as it worked its magic that would restore full functionality to my body after a 600 year nap. It felt as though a deep coldness had permeated through my body to my very core, and I'd never be warm again. I suppose that was only natural, seeing as I had literally been frozen in cryogenic stasis for more than half a millennia.

My first thoughts were muddled, I could really only process what was immediately around me, like the cold darkness. As the thawing continued, I was able to remember why I was in that cold, dark place –– I was one of 20,000 humans who had embarked on an over 600 year journey from the Milky Way galaxy to the Andromeda galaxy, where we would find a new home to call our own. That thought triggered excitement. I had been looking forward to the adventure and discovering the unknown, to going someplace no other human had ever gone before. Were we finally there? Then came the impatience. When would this stupid machine be done? I needed to move, to see for myself that we had arrived.  _ Come on guys! I've been lying around long enough. Could we get a move on? Please? Seriously, I haven't had coffee in 600 years, I think I'm going to die if I don't get some soon. _

At that moment, the pod finished whatever it was doing. I heard the lid click and as it swung open, I could sense the flood of light on the other side of my eyelids. Just a few seconds later, the machine released my body from its control as my eyes flew open and I shot up into a sitting position, gasping for breath for the first time in what felt like 600 years.

It took a moment before I was able to really process my surroundings. The light was blinding at first and my sight was blurry. I could feel my heart pounding from the anticipation of the adventure set before me, I almost couldn’t believe that I had been asleep for that long. It was the strangest feeling.

“We made it.” I said in a whisper as I looked around the cryo bay, catching my breath.

My limbs felt a little stiff. I can’t be sure but being frozen for over 600 years just might have had something to do with that. I was beyond ready to get up and move around, and I made a valiant effort to do just that. Until I stumbled and fell back onto the table I was sitting on. Two cryo technicians, a man and a woman who were overseeing my wake up process, caught me as I fell and encouraged me to take it easy.

“Guys, I’ve been taking it easy for 600 years.” I was anxious to get moving, to where? I wasn’t quite sure of that. I just wanted to go.

They checked my stats and discovered that I was on the pathfinder team. We joked around for a moment about pathfinders taking custom orders for colonists. Then the male technician became my best friend when he said, “How about we get her a cup of coffee first?”

Coffee! The nectar of life! I am a coffee fanatic. Before we left the Milky Way, coffee ran through my veins. I adore coffee!

They helped me up and half carried me and my clumsy legs into the med bay just outside the cryo chamber, and said farewell as they left me at one of the examination tables. Dr. Lexi T’Perro brought me that hot cup of coffee and explained that she was going to perform my post-wake-up physical to ensure that I had transitioned from cryo stasis properly. They needed to ensure that I was fit and able to fulfill my duties as recon specialist to the pathfinder mission team. By the way, in case you were wondering, recon specialist is a fancy title for a scout. Sounds impressive, right?

The physical was pretty standard. Dr. T’Perro checked my eyes, my reflexes, heart rate, etc… As she worked over me, I had the impression that she took her work very seriously. 

“They make it sound so easy.” She said in response to the information wall’s optimistic chatter about finding the perfect homeworld, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

I thought to myself,  _ Easy? Well, that’s no fun,  _ and responded, “I certainly hope not. I signed up for a little adventure before settling down!” Had I known how much adventure was to come, I might have changed my tune. Maybe.

“Well, buckle up. You're about to get your adventure.” Dr. T’Perro mentioned that the adventure was about to start because my dad, the pathfinder, wanted his team ready to head out within the hour.

In spite of my earlier restlessness and readiness to get moving, I was pretty content to sit there with my cup of coffee for the duration of the physical. Coffee just had that effect on me. Though I was curious as to why dad needed the pathfinder mission team ready so quickly. I mean, we had just woken up from a 600 year nap for crying out loud!

Dr. T’Perro said that everything looked good and she just needed to run a quick diagnostic on my SAM implant. While she was prepping for that, I took a look around the med bay. I noticed several members of the pathfinder team who had just been pulled from stasis. Most I had met before leaving the Milky Way, but a few I had not. Directly across from me was a young man with warm, tawny colored skin and black bushy hair that sprung out from his scalp in all directions. He looked to be about my age. Our eyes met and he gave me little wave in greeting and flashed a cheeky grin as he mouthed, “Hello”. I returned the grin with a raised eyebrow and crooked smile of my own. I mouthed, “Hi there!” My first impression of this guy was that he had a friendly look about him and I could see the two of us becoming good buddies in time.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard SAM speak in his formal AI voice. “Good morning, Sara. Are you feeling well?”

“I feel fan-freaking-tastic. Let’s do this!”

“I detect increased adrenaline in your system but the neural implant seems to be functioning properly.”

I laughed to myself, knowing exactly where that adrenaline spike was coming from. “Can’t explore space without my coffee!” I said cheerfully, as I drained the last few drops from the mug and set it down. I got to my feet and turned towards Scott’s cryo pot in anticipation of his wake-up call.

–––––

The ark was in chaos. We had just collided with who knows what, the gravity stabilizers had failed and restarted, and systems were going haywire all over the medbay. 

Cora Harper, dad’s second-in-command, had been the one to restabilize the gravity with her quick thinking and even quicker actions. 

“Hey Sara! Seems like centuries since we last spoke.”

“Ha ha ha! Right?! Long time no see, Cora! I knew I’d see you on the other side!”

Cora was fiercely dedicated and loyal to dad and our mission. She was a professional and played the part well –– most of the time. Oh, she had a sense of humor but most of the time it was buried beneath that professional facade of hers. I knew it was there though, and was probably the reason that we got along as well as we did. I preferred to look on the bright side and find humor in just about everything. Dad often said that I wielded sarcasm like a gun, though I could be professional and logical when absolutely necessary. Most of the time, however, the humor and sarcasm won out.

I could hear dad over the intercom system, announcing that he needed Cora and the Ryder twins –– namely myself and Scott –– to report to the bridge immediately. Cora and I turned to head in that direction when one of the cryo technician’s voices rang out, “We have a problem here.”

I looked to see him gesturing to a banged up cryo pod. “It’s Scott Ryder.”

My breath caught in my throat as I fought to control the panic rising up in me. I sprinted to where Scott’s pod had landed after the gravity had been turned back on.

_ No, no, no, no, no! Not Scott! This can’t be happening. _

In desperation, I placed my hands on the pod, half hoping I could sense him inside. 

_ Please Scott. You have to be ok, I don’t know what I will do without you. _

I stared at the beat up pod, my eyes lined with unshed tears. I could feel a knot in the pit of my stomach. What would I do without my twin? 

Dr. T’Perro was already examining the pod and noted the wake-up sequence had been interrupted and that it was too risky to continue with the standard wake-up procedure in spite of the fact that SAM had declared that Scott’s vitals were stable.

“I really don’t like that sound of that,” I said hoarsely.

“Scott will be fine. We will keep him in a low level coma for awhile and allow him to regain consciousness on his own,” Dr. T’Perro calmly explained and, upon seeing my distress, reiterated, “He will be fine.”

I felt a tiny bit better at her words. Cora said, “Please keep us posted.” and directed me to the door that would lead us to the tram. We needed to meet dad on the bridge and –– though he probably already knew –– break the news about Scott.

As we headed to the door, I could hear my new friend –– who I still hadn’t been introduced to –– muttering something about only being in Andromeda for five minutes and we’re already crashing the car. I laughed quietly and stopped to check on him.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Hi there! Yeah, that was just a hell of a wake up call, huh? Didn’t expect that first thing out of stasis.” 

He had a very distinct accent, I thought it might be a Londoner accent. Or Australian? I'm terrible at placing accents but wherever it had come from, it was easy on the ears.

“That makes two of us. Hang in there, ok?”

“No problem, thanks!”

I turned to continue on my way to the bridge and spotted Cora by the door, waiting patiently for me. As we passed through the door, things went from bad to worse. Seriously, as if things hadn’t already gone to hell, another essential system in the cryo bay went haywire and threatened the sleepers still in stasis. Thankfully, my SAM scanner was able to detect the fault and I was close enough to the control panel that I could reset the system in time to avoid serious damage and save the sleepers.

_ First the collision, then Scott, now this?! There is not enough coffee in the galaxy to deal with this shit! If this is how things are going to be in Andromeda, I'm going back to sleep. Wake me in 600 years. _

Once that crisis was averted, Cora and I boarded the tram that would take us to the bridge, where dad was waiting for us. Cora commented on the amount of scrambling we’ve already had to do in the first hour after arriving in Andromeda, a sliver of that humor peeking through her serious demeanor.

“The adventure begins!” I used my tried and true method of hiding my distress with humor and sarcasm. “That's what we all signed up for, right?”

“Not sure you’re dad will see it that way,” she said carefully, assuming her favorite military at ease stance, which was still closer to “at attention” than I ever stood.

Smiling to myself, I programmed the tram for its trip to the bridge, where we found even more chaos. Members of the flight crew were running around in a panic, reminding me a bit of that old saying, “like a chicken with it’s head cut off.” They were scrambling and shouting about power outages and drifting. 

My breath caught in my throat as I looked out the window and saw a huge mass of dark...something surrounding the ark. It looked a lot like one of those thorn bushes you might find on earth. It was terrifying, but awe inspiring at the same time. I wanted to know what it was, how it worked and what caused it to be so solid as to cause a collision with the ark but look so ethereal at the same time.

I am fascinated with the unknown. It’s something that dad, Scott and I all have in common. Even though I am Alliance military trained, I have a natural, insatiable curiosity. Which is why I decided to move on from the alliance to the security and defense detail for that prothean research team. Though I was technically hired muscle, I was able to actually help them discover the unknown and it was fascinating to me. This curiosity and fascination with exploring the unknown drove me to join the initiative. I knew that here, I would be exploring the unknown on a daily basis. Exhilarating!

I forced myself to focus on the present as I saw dad pacing the bridge, arguing with Captain Dunn and making a case for going down to explore the planet below us –– to see if it was truly a place we could call home. The captain was insistent that the crew focus on protecting the sleepers and stabilizing power in the ark. Dad wanted to find a safe haven on solid ground. 

I could tell that Cora was torn between siding with her pathfinder and seeing where the captain was coming from.

I couldn’t resist putting in my two cents. “I think she gets the final say. It’s her ship.”

Dad shot a stern look in my direction, “This is not about having the last word.” Our eyes met and his look spoke volumes. He was not happy with my meddling. 

I could see that Cora was still torn but she snapped to attention. “Yes sir!” 

I kept quiet, sighing inwardly and turned my attention to the view ahead of me. Dad was exceptionally stubborn. It was a trait that ran strong in our family. Unless I was looking for a fight, I knew better than to argue, it wouldn’t get us anywhere.

The ark was drifting aimlessly, the power being out. Suddenly, there was a break in the dark mass and a planet emerged.

“Is that–– is that habitat 7? The most promising home for humanity?” The planet was almost completely surrounded by that terrible darkness. 

Dad had brought up a hologram that had been saved 600 years ago when the research team had received the results of their long range scans.

“It doesn’t even look the same!” Captain Dunn breathed.

“We need to find out if this is a safe haven. What happens when our reserve stores and supplies run out?”

“What if it’s not.”

“Then it’s my job as pathfinder to find a new one.”

It was finally agreed upon that the pathfinder team would venture down to the planet surface on our first pathfinding mission.

–––––

As I stood in front of my locker, donning my armor for the first time since leaving the Milky Way, I couldn’t help but notice the gaping hole in our team, in my heart. Scott was my best friend, my partner in crime. After mom passed away and dad became so distant and engrossed in his work with artificial intelligence, Scott was all I had. Yeah, we had separate lives and even worked in opposite ends of the galaxy, but we talked all the time and emailed even more. If he didn’t pull through… No, I couldn’t allow myself to think those thoughts. He would pull through. He would wake up because if he didn’t, I was going to kick his ass.

“Scott is going to hate that he missed this.”

I didn’t realize I had said that out loud because Cora, who was suiting up next to me, snorted and said, “Are all Ryder’s such adrenaline junkies?”

Smirking, I shot back, “I guess it just runs in our blood. You know, I am a whole minute older than him. And I never let him forget it…” I trailed off, gazing into the distance, as if I could see through the walls into the cryo bay. 

Cora followed my gaze and, realizing that my mind wasn’t completely in the room, approached and said kindly, “Don’t worry, I’m sure Scott will pull through.”

Shaking my head a little, I met her gaze and said, more confidently than I felt, “Yeah, and when he does, he’s going to want to hear stories.”

“So let’s get out there and find him one.”

I finished suiting up, found my helmet and my sidearm, and met Cora at the door to the shuttle bay. She flashed a grin and said lightly, “Just another boring day at the office.”

I couldn’t help myself, “Well, you know, I run into giant space cloud nebulas all the time, it’ll be fine!” For emphasis, I waved a casual hand in the air at the word “fine”.

That earned me a small laugh and a smile, “Keeps us on our toes, right?” She sighed and said softly, “You know, I always wondered what it was like when explorers crossed the ocean, nothing but stars and dead reckoning to guide them.”

This gave me pause. I knew that Cora had a sense of humor buried deep underneath that protective armor of discipline and professionalism she wore, but I didn’t realize that there was a romantic soul in there as well. Interesting.

I thought about that for a moment and said, “With a map that said, ‘here be dragons’.”

“Well if they made it, we can too. And maybe see a dragon along the way.”

“You never know, let’s keep an eye out,” I said flippantly.

Another laugh, “And our distance.”

At that, we entered the shuttle bay where the team was gathering. It looked like dad had snagged Dr. Carlyle for the mission, wanting to have a medic on the ground. Just in case. I could see why dad would want that, but I felt a little guilty taking him from the Ark med bay when so many people needed a physician after the collision. 

Cora and I approached dad as he was checking his weapon. Cora stood at attention, and delivered a team status report. I just stood there. Yeah, I had some military training but the Initiative wasn’t the military and this was my dad. I just couldn’t bring myself to go all formal.

Once he had acknowledged his 2nd in command, Dad stepped closer to me and said, “I heard what happened. Your brother’s strong, he’ll make it.”

For a second, I was speechless. Mom had passed away a few years ago and, in his grief, dad had become distant and a workaholic. Hearing that hint of concern in his voice nearly undid me. I replied, my voice thick with emotion, “He better. 600 year nap and he oversleeps.”

“You know him, never was an early riser.” I couldn’t help but smile, tremulous as it was, at the quip. As quickly as it had come, the moment was over. Dad was back to being the pathfinder. “Don’t let it get to you,” he said seriously, “I need you focused on the mission. Keep your wits about you, we don’t know what we will find down there.”

Sighing inwardly, I nodded and tried to push the emotion to the back of my mind. He was right, I needed to be focused. I needed to be ready for anything. My team was depending on me and I couldn’t afford to wallow in worry and depression. I squared my shoulders and steeled myself. I could do this, I was ready.

Dad stepped up into the doorway of the shuttle and motioned for the team to gather around him. He told us he hand picked each of us for his team for the simple fact that we were dreamers, we wanted to push the boundaries of the known and leap into the unknown. It was actually a pretty inspiring speech, I could see why he was an N7 in the alliance. He had a natural charisma, he was passionate about whatever he was doing, and he strived for excellence. I knew he was 100% committed to this mission and our team. I looked around at the faces of each member of the team and could see that each of them was excited to take this next step, they were inspired as I was by the pathfinder’s moving speech.

“We only get one chance to be first. So, let’s go make history.”

The group dispersed and headed to their assigned shuttle. I stood there for a moment more, thinking about making history. We were going to do it. It almost felt like a dream. As I turned to head towards my shuttle, my eyes met with the warm amber colored eyes of my new, yet to be named friend. We exchanged cocky grins and he stepped past me to board, fist bumping my shoulder as he passed. I smiled to myself, thinking,  _ This is going to be fun,  _ as I turned to follow him onto the shuttle. It was time for us to head into the great unknown. And maybe go find some dragons.

–––––

The shuttle ride was pretty calm at the start. I will admit that it was unnerving to see the ark adrift in the middle of that terrible dark mass. I stood by the window, watching the tendrils of that dark mass spiral by. My unnamed friend stood nearby, commenting on the view.

“Wow, would you look at that!”

“Whatever it is, it stopped the Hyperion in it’s tracks.”

SAM piped in helpfully, “It appears to be an unstable mass of dark energy.”

“If you say so,” he said and then looked towards me, “We didn’t get a chance to meet back in the Milky Way, the name’s Liam Kosta. Security and response specialist.”

_ Ah! So that’s his name!  _ My mystery friend, suddenly had a name to go with that face…and voice. And he was here to provide security for the explorers. We had more in common that I thought. My role here was recon specialist but in that previous life, I was the security and response specialist for the prothean researchers.

“Good to meet you Liam. I’m Sara Ryder, but you probably already knew that.”

“Yeah, I could see the resemblance between you and your old man.”

We both laughed at that. Liam continued, “Hard to believe we’re really doing this.”

“Yeah, after all this time, and all of that anticipation, I kinda feel like I’m dreaming. But, it sure beats reading the brochures!”

As the shuttle began its entry into the atmosphere, the ride got a little choppy but that was to be expected when you were literally a flaming mass hurtling towards a planet. Liam and I apparently were of one mind.

_ Alright boys and girls! Hold onto your helmets! _

“Here we go!” Liam called out.

Once we got past the flaming atmosphere part, we were rewarded with our first glimpse of the planet surface. It was stormy and there were towering rocky formations as far as the eye could see. 

“Doesn’t look like much of a golden planet from where I’m standing,” I couldn’t help but comment.

“Umm… guys… the mountains are floating.” Liam said flatly. 

As the shuttle continued its approach to the designated landing zone, we spotted a tower that clearly looked have been constructed by an alien civilization. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t there 600 years ago and just hoped that the aliens were friendly.

That was certainly not what I expected to discover in the great unknown. Perhaps we would find those dragons after all, I just hoped we would survive the encounter.

Suddenly, the shuttle gave an almighty lurch as it was struck by lighting. The pilot shouted that the controls had been fried and we were careening out of control. Before I could even process that, the panel that Liam and I were both leaning against broke away. I screamed as Liam was sucked out of the shuttle, though he managed to grab hold of the doorway. Grasping the doorway I had caught, I reached as far as I could, screaming, “LIAM!” He noticed and reached back, “RYDER!” Then the shuttle broke into dozens of pieces and, ready or not, we were both flung into the great unknown, plummeting like stones towards the alien planet surface a thousand feet below.


	2. Falling from the Sky

I could hear Liam’s shouts fade as we were torn from the disintegrating shuttle and flung in different directions. I can honestly say that I had never been more terrified in my life. Not even that time when my peacekeeping team was pinned down in a firefight. A band of batarian pirates had attempted to raid the our dig site and we weren’t going down without a fight. We won and had zero casualties, but the battle was brutal. The terror of plunging out of control through the atmosphere, the wind roaring in my ears –– surrounded on all sides by enormous floating boulders and vicious lightning strikes –– definitely topped that.

“Acceleration increasing,” SAM’s voice piped in helpfully.

“Really? You don’t say!” I snapped as I tumbled head over heels, trying to right myself so I could activate my biotic assisted jump jet and slow my descent. 

“Jump jet malfunctioning,” SAM reported.

_ Son of a––  _ “Get it working!” I screamed.

I had managed to pull myself into a semi controlled free fall position and could see a spiky rock formation approaching fast. There was no way I could avoid colliding with the stone precipice, so I focused on trying to avoid becoming the first human smear in Andromeda. The high altitude and extreme force from falling must have stalled the jump jets because no matter how hard I tried, I could not get them to fire, so I switched my focus to utilizing my biotic jump and barrier to try and at least soften the fall. Then, at the last second, the jump jets sputtered to life. Between the jets and my biotics, my fall was cushioned just enough that I was able to avoid splattering the stones upon impact. I still managed to tumble ass over tea kettle the last two hundred feet to the ground. 

Can I just say that I will never complain about having to wear my helmet again? When I finally made it to the ground, I landed spread eagle. The wind was knocked out of me but I was able to make a quick assessment and ensure that nothing was broken. I inhaled a deep breath of relief and my lungs seized up. It was almost like trying to breath underwater, there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air. Whatever it was made of burned like crazy. I tried not to panic as I started gasping erratic, shallow breaths. Grasping at the faceplate of my helmet, I felt a spiderweb pattern of cracks. 

“Oh shit!” I whispered in a panic to myself as I hit a quick programing sequence on my omni tool to switch it over to repair mode. Thankfully, it had the capability of melting the glass just enough that it was able to seal the cracks. I laid there a moment, appreciating the sensation of breathing in the clean air from my oxygen generator. I felt pretty damn proud that I had managed not only to avoid becoming a smear on the mountainside but I avoided becoming an asphyxiated corpse. At that moment, those seemed like some monumental accomplishments. 

Despite the fact that I had managed to survive the last five minutes of disaster, my body felt like it had been trampled by a raging krogan. Gingerly, I eased myself to my feet and did a few quick stretches to check that all of my limbs were still functioning properly. Once I was satisfied that my body was structurally sound and intact, I took a good look at my surroundings and froze in shock –– and, if I was being honest with myself, awe.

I was standing at the edge of a precipice overlooking a yawning chasm. Rocky peaks stretched towards sky as far as the eye could see. Seriously, and I kid you not, there were huge chunks of the mountains floating. I kind of thought that I was hallucinating earlier as I plummeted past them, but they were real. Even in that moment of awe, a small voice in the back of my mind –– a voice that never slept –– whispered in my ear “How does that work? What can we learn about this?” 

We had arrived at the great unknown and now I wanted –– no, needed –– to know it…to solve its mysteries.

The roar of wind and thunder sounded around me and the air felt charged, as if the lighting wasn’t confined to the clouds above but had permeated the very air around me. I took an involuntary step back as brilliant blue bolts of lightning streaked across the sky right at my eye level. I may have been awestruck but I had zero desire to become lightning struck.

Looking at the ground around me, I could see that I was standing on rocky terrain, with bits of some kind of scrub brush dotted throughout. As I took in the foliage, or lack thereof, around me, I did a double take.  _ What the– _ There were these strange tentacle looking plants sprouting among the scrub brush. I had never seen anything quite like it in the milky way. I bent over to get a closer look. The texture was almost rubbery and they looked like they may be glowing. Their stubby stems seriously ended in these little curlicues. Weird.

I was snapped from my reverie as reality smacked me upside the head. I remembered with a jolt of panic that I was alone, on an uncharted planet after falling over a thousand feet from an exploding shuttle. Did the rest of the crew survive? Would I die here alone? Shit. 

I opened my omnitool communicator and called out for the crew, the Hyperion, SAM, anyone. Nothing. No answer. Not even static. I tried again, I couldn’t be the only survivor.

“Save your breath! Communications are down!”

I jumped about a foot in the air as a familiar voice called out behind me. I turned and was relieved to see Liam running down a slope towards me. 

_ He’s ok! Thank goodness! _

“SAM is offline, our commlinks are trashed.” He doubled over, panting –– as if he had been running for awhile. 

“Is this real? Did we seriously just fall from the sky into this nightmare? Or are we dead?”

“If we’re dead, this is hell.”

I snorted to myself and was suddenly reminded of an old children’s vid,  _ Alice in Wonderland _ . We fell through the sky into a topsy turvy land of nonsense. 

“Maybe we’re still in cryo and this is a dream?”

“You mean a nightmare, right?”

“Well, either way, there is no way this is home.”

Liam seemed to have caught his breath and straightened, looking around. “We need to find higher ground.”

“Are you sure you want to be the tallest thing in this storm?”

He laughed, “We need to find the rest of the crew and they’ll be easier to spot if we’re high up. We’ll be fine. Come on!” He clapped me on the shoulder as he passed and trotted off along the ledge of that chasm towards the closest thing to a pathway I had seen so far. Shrugging, I followed along.

“Recon specialist, right? Go ahead and take the lead then. You scout, I’ll watch your back.”

That worked for me so I nodded and took point. We headed into a tunnel-like cavern. I was comforted by the cover and there appeared to be a series of ledges that would take us to higher ground.

“Whoa! Would you look at that?!”

I followed his gaze and gasped as I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. “Ummm…are those giant mushrooms glowing?!”

“Just when you thought things couldn’t get crazier…. The mountains are floating, the plants are glowing, what next?”

We were passing a break in the tunnel when I heard a deep, bird-like call to my right. I looked between the stones to see what was making that noise. I said softly, “Whoa! Are you seeing this Kosta?”

He turned and his jaw dropped at what he saw. “Those are the biggest birds that I’ve ever seen!”

I had once visited a beach on earth and the shallow waters were teeming with manta rays. These creatures looked a lot like that. “I don’t think they’re birds, they look like huge flying manta rays. I’ve never seen a flying creature like that.” Then I said quietly, to myself, “There be dragons. I wonder if Cora has seen these yet?”

We tested our jump jets and worked our way up the tunnel, steadily making our way to higher ground when we reached a chasm larger than those we had previously jumped.

Liam looked down and assessed the distance across. “That one might be a stretch. Think you’re up for the challenge, recon specialist?”

I took a second to assess the jump for myself and took a few steps back from the ledge, flashing a cocky grin at him. “You’re not chickening out on me now, are ya Kosta?” And at the last second, I triggered the jump jet turbo-charge and vaulted across the chasm, landing neatly on the other side. I turned, a hand on one hip and called, “Coming, Kosta?”

Liam laughed, “Oh, it’s on now!” I stepped out of the way as he took a running leap and landed solidly next to me. I noticed however, that he didn’t need to use the turbo-charge. “Show off,” I muttered as I walked past him, playfully elbowing his arm as I passed. He just chuckled in response.

We continued our journey through the cavern, up and over the various ledges. I have to say that I would like to find whoever invented the jump jet and kiss them because we did not have those in the alliance. I’m certain that those amazing bits of technological genius saved our lives that day. Soon we came to that cavern’s exit and paused. Ahead of us was a ledge that led to the next cavern. Seems innocent enough, right? Typically, I’d agree with that sentiment but this walkway appeared to be the primary target of the wrath from that damn lightning storm. I swear, there was lightning hitting the ground every 5 seconds. It looked like a death trap. But, it was our only way forward. 

I looked over to see Liam staring wide eyed at the path ahead, shaking his head slightly in denial of what we had to do next. I clapped a hand on his shoulder and said, “Ok, so maybe this looks like a death trap but I say it’s a challenge. Let’s go kick death in the teeth!” I’ll admit that I was completely putting on a show, I was pretty sure that we were about to be fried, but what were our options? We couldn’t just stay there.

Liam shot an incredulous look my way and said, “You’re kind of crazy, you know that, Ryder?”

“I may have been told that once or twice. But seriously, it’s just a little lightning. Do you want to stay here? No? Ok, On my count, just run for it. See? There’s shelter. Looks like it’s only 100 feet ahead. Just make sure to use those turbo boosters and we’ll be across in no time. We have totally got this! Ready? GO!”

And we both took off. I was praying that we could avoid the lighting. The challenge was compounded by the fact that there were puddles of what I assumed were water, but could quite possibly be some strange freaky liquid substance that was only posing as water to trick us. Regardless, it was liquid and it would probably shock the crap out of us if we stepped in it while it was charged with electricity.

I ran in a zigzag pattern, engaging my turbo booster when possible, and tried to avoid the spots where it looked like the lightning had struck multiple times. 

I could hear Liam shouting behind me, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a planet coming up with so many ways of murdering a person.”

“Well, you have to give it props for creativity.”

“New galaxy, new ways to die, yeah?”

“It won’t have us. Not today!” I shouted and continued the charge forward.

By some miracle, we made it to the shelter of the next cavern without getting electrocuted. I honestly wasn’t sure what would be worse, asphyxiation or electrocution. Both sounded like awful ways to die.

We raced under the shelter and stopped, looking at each other. We started laughing –– though the laughter had a semi-hysterical edge to it –– and celebrated our survival against the odds.

“We made it!” I cheered.

“Nice work Ryder!” Liam said and offered me a fistbump, which I returned enthusiastically with a, “Right back at ya, Kosta!”

We continued on, away from the lighting, until we came across a few more pieces of our wrecked shuttle. 

“Hey look, Kosta! I think this is the panel we were leaning on just before we were sucked from the shuttle and thrown to the ground!”

“Ha! It sure is!” he laughed, then his tone turned more serious, “Ryder, before we go much farther, we should check our weapons. So far our only enemy has been this planet but I wouldn’t put it past this hellhole to throw some sort of armed sentient being at us. We should test our weapons. Make sure they’re still functioning properly after that fall.”

I nodded, “Sure thing. I think this shuttle panel just volunteered to be our target. I propose a contest, good sir. Loser buys drinks when this is all over.”

“You’re on!”

The panel had the Initiative logo right in the middle. The center of the logo was our target. At that point, all I had was a pistol, which sucked because I was trained  in the alliance as a biotic infiltrator. I had my biotics but I prefered to wield a sniper rifle and tactical cloak. Though sometimes I’ve thought I should have trained as a vanguard. I excel at using my tactical cloak to sneak up on an enemy and punch it in the teeth with a biotic nova. The pistol was probably my weakest weapon but I was going to try anyways. Liam, being the gentleman that he is, insisted that I go first, so I stepped up and took aim. A rustling sound behind me made me jump, just as I had pulled the trigger, causing me to jerk the pistol up. Needless to say, I didn’t even hit the panel. 

Liam was doubled over in fits of laughter. It turned out that I panicked over his boot scuffing the the ground. He clearly found it highly amusing that I had completely missed the target. “I don’t know about your aim, but your gun is working just fine,” he laughed, breathlessly. 

“Your boot distracted me, cheater.”

He laughed and proceeded to take aim with his assault rifle and hit the logo, as close to center as one can get with an assault rifle. 

“Ugh, fine. You win this time Kosta but we’ll do this again when I have my sniper rifle. Then we’ll see who’s buying the drinks!”

“Uh-huh. Right. You got it.”

We were distracted from our banter when I thought I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. Then Liam said, “Look! Flares!”

“Do you think it’s the rest of our team?”

“Only one way to find out!”

I tried to estimate the distance and angle of the flares from where we were standing so I could calculate the navpoint on my omnitool. We continued on and as we rounded a corner, we both froze in place. There was a huge alien structure ahead of us. It looked like the lighting was concentrated around it as it spewed a weird blue cloud of…energy? It looked like it was sending some sort of strange pulse into the air. 

“What the bloody hell is that?” Liam exclaimed.

“Yet another new and painful way to die?”

“Maybe we should be keeping tally?”

“How do I kill thee? Let me count the ways…” I began, parodying the Elizabeth Browning sonnet. 

Liam snorted, “Yeah, let’s keep moving.”

We continued over a small ledge and saw several flaming pieces of our shuttle, and––

“Fisher! That’s Fisher!” Liam exclaimed in excitement, picking up his pace to join our fellow pathfinder teammate. 

I was right at his heels, just as eager to find another survivor when a tingle ran down my spine and I felt goosebumps raise on my arms. We weren’t alone. I dove to the ground, taking Liam with me.

“Shhhh...look!” I whispered, pointing across the clearing.

Fisher was slumped against a crate, was he injured? Just on the other side, there were two aliens searching the shuttle wreckage. They were armed to the teeth and their expressions did not convey a hint of friendliness. They wore armor but their –– was it skin? It looked like a form of armor as well, maybe some sort of exoskeleton? I could see their faces with their glaring eyes and mouths set in a fierce line. Their heads were surrounded by this oddly textured exoskeleton. It kind of looked like a brain. Gross. 

I knew that first contact protocol demanded that we maintain a peaceful stance unless it was absolutely clear that the aliens intended to inflict harm, but my gut was screaming at me to run in there armed and stand between them and our teammate.

“Shit! What was first contact protocol again?” Liam whispered.

“No deadly force unless fired upon.”

“Right, said no one in the field. Ever. What should we do?”

“We’ll do our best but be ready in case all hell breaks loose,” I said as I reloaded my pistol and mentally prepared my biotics.

“All hell breaks loose?  Gee. I wonder what that would be like?”

I shook my head, and beckoned him to follow. We were armed and ready, but kept our weapons down. I really did hope that my gut was wrong and these guys would be relatively friendly. I wanted just one thing to go right that day. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently, it was. We approached slowly and tried to communicate that we meant no harm, but the assholes glared at us and raised their weapons. I could see one starting to pull the trigger and acted on instinct. I did a biotic dash across the clearing to stand between the aliens and Fisher, releasing a nova that knocked them both down and gave Liam and I the chance to finish them quickly. It was over in a flash.

We stood over the bodies, just staring.

“What the hell are those things?” Liam said, a touch of trepidation coating his voice.

I shook my head, as I bent over, hands on my knees. I was still a little in shock over what had just transpired. Our first contact in this galaxy was not supposed to go like this. What had I done?

A hand clapped on my shoulder, “Hey! It’s over, and thanks to you, we won.”

I slowly straightened. “This isn’t how first contact was supposed to go. I know we had no choice, it was either us or them but I had higher hopes.”

“That’s on them. We can’t let it change us. The next time might go better.”

“The whole neighborhood can’t be bad, right?” I quipped.

Liam was in crisis response and security specialist mode, all business as he looked around, ensuring that we were safe. He turned to me and said, “We need to shake it off and get ready for whatever comes next.” I nodded in agreement and turned to help Fisher up. It turned out that he had a nasty broken leg. He insisted that we go on without him to find help. Before Liam and I moved out, we carefully moved Fisher to a nearby alcove so that he wasn’t sitting helpless out in the open. That way if more enemy scouts came along, they could have fun looting the wreckage and would hopefully miss the injured human hiding in the shadows.

Liam and I continued on the path, keeping an eye out for more of the hostile aliens. As we moved, we got to chatting about our past lives in the Milky Way. 

“So, you’re a biotic?”

“Yup, that’s not a problem is it?”

“Nope! Just curious is all. I haven’t worked with many biotics.”

“Yeah, my mom was the one who created the very first L1 biotic implants. Obviously, that meant that she worked in close contact with eezo. We assume that my brother and I were exposed to it at some point because of that research.”

“Is your brother a biotic?”

“Nah, as his big sister, it was my job to shield him from all the crap that comes along with eezo exposure. Even in the womb,” I said as I scrambled over a large boulder in our path.

“Ha! Well it sounds like you did a great job.”

“Yeah, though we didn’t know that I was a biotic until my Alliance training. That’s when they designated me as a biotic and gave me my implant along with special training on how to utilize the power effectively.”

“What’s it like having the implant in your head?”

“Not much different than the SAM implant, to be honest. In fact, my dad adjusted my SAM connection to work with the implant that is already there and avoid unnecessary invasive technology in my brain.”

“Well, from what I’ve seen, you’re pretty handy in a fight both with your gun and your biotics. Is the assault rifle your weapon of choice?”

“Actually, I prefer a sniper rifle and a tactical cloak. I know, it’s pretty odd for a biotic to be a sniper but I make it work.”

“Cool!”

We jumpjetted across a small chasm as I asked, “So what’s your story? How did my dad find you?”

“I was a cop back on earth. The story’s a little long. But, tell you what. I’ll tell you all about it over a beer if we survive this psychotic planet.”

“It’s a deal!”

We had reached a deep chasm, the sound of machinery echoing up from what we assumed was the bottom and more of that blue energy cloud stuff wafted up from the depths. I could see a number of weird glowing posts that looked like they could have been made from obsidian. They were large enough that with the help of our jump jets we could use them as stepping stones. We stood at the edge of the abyss, looking down. It was so deep that we couldn’t see what was making that noise at the bottom.

“What do you think is down there?” Liam asked.

“Alien dark gods of the underworld,” I deadpanned.

Shuddering a bit, Liam said, “Ugh, don’t say that! I wouldn’t put it past this planet. What’s making that sound?”

“Alien dark gods.”

Shooting me a half reproachful, half amused look, Liam just shook his head and stepped back from the edge. From his body language, I gathered that he wanted to turn around and find a different way forward. I, however, moved away from the edge just far enough that I could take a running leap and jump jet to the other side.

Liam’s voice echoed in the cavern as he jumped across, “I can’t believe we are doing this!”

“I need to know what’s down there!” My insatiable curiosity was getting the best of me. 

“Recon specialist. Of course,” Liam groaned.

We battled our way along the path, trying to find the rest of the team. We found Kirkland a minute too late. We ran forward, guns blazing, to reach him in time but those damn aliens shot him in cold blood –– we were too late. We took them and their creepy cloaking alien dogs down in a matter of minutes. A little while later, farther down the path, we heard a commotion coming from a nearby cave and stumbled across Greer surrounded by more of angry, growling aliens. Thankfully, we were able to take down the hostiles before he was injured. 

Once we had made sure that Greer was uninjured, he told us that he would go back and wait with Fisher for extraction. I had to admit that Liam was true to his title, he was an excellent crisis responder. He was calm and collected through every fight and didn’t let his emotions get in the way even once. I was glad to have him with me in this nightmare.

We came to a clearing where the lighting seemed especially concentrated, nearly as bad as the stuff we had to dodge awhile ago. But on the other end of the clearing was a strange structure. It looked different from the obsidian-like, glowing structures we had previously come across. It was rougher and primitive in comparison, and –– I thought during a moment of uncharacteristic shallowness –– a lot uglier. Regardless, my curiosity was piqued in an instant. 

“Woah, look at that structure,” Liam commented.

“Come on, we should check it out.”

Groaning, Liam followed me into the dark, cavernous structure. Flashlights on, we looked around. There were crates everywhere. It looked a bit like a research station.

“Let’s hope that nobody’s home,” Liam said.

“I don’t think anyone could live here. I think– I think it’s a research facility of some kind. Maybe their archaeologists?”

“Right, bloodthirsty, zombie archaeologists.”

I snorted but continued my exploration. I saw a few curious devices and started poking at buttons, jumping when some sort of alarm went off.

“Oh shit! That can’t be good!”

“I swear Ryder, if this stuff kills us, I’m blaming you!”

I poked at another device, which resulted in a low humming noise that caused the structure to vibrate.

“What the hell are you doing, Ryder!?”

I opened my mouth to respond when the lights clicked on.

“Why, turning on the lights, of course,” I said saucily, as if that was what I intended all along. “Looks like there’s only one more room, let’s check it out and get out of here.”

“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” Liam muttered to himself.

We passed through a doorway and into a rocky cavern with a huge sealed door at the other end. The door was of the same style as the pillars and towers we had previously seen.

“Were they– tunneling into another structure?”

“Sure looks that way.”

We both froze as we heard an odd clicking noise when a robot popped up from the ground and started shooting at us. Liam was quickest to draw his weapon and took down the robot in just a few shots.

“Really? Murderous robots too? Can this day get any better?” I asked no one in particular.

Liam laughed, “Right?! Let’s get out of here before your curiosity gets us killed.”

We thought the excitement was over, I mean what are the odds of having so many near death experiences in one day? Just when we thought we were past the worst of it, we walked out of the structure and into an ambush! There were half a dozen of those aliens and their stupid invisible dog things. Liam and I worked together, he would throw a grenade and I would follow up with a biotic throw. The combination of those two attacks was deadly. We decimated them relatively quickly and took off towards the navpoint on my omnitool. As we rounded the next rock formation, we saw shuttle one and the crew working busily around it. I almost cried with relief.

“Cora! You guys are a sight for sore eyes!” She jumped a little and turned, looking nearly as relieved as I felt when she spotted us. Unfortunately, our reunion was short lived. Before we could utter another word, a drop ship tossed about a dozen of those aliens just on the other side of a shallow ditch across from us. Of course, they hadn’t come to chat. No, they started shooting as soon as their feet hit the ground. Damn it! No rest for the weary. We took cover behind any boulder large enough and returned fire. Cora, Liam and I made up the bulk of the defense team. Our other two team members were Dr. Carlyle and Hayes. Obviously, the good doctor wasn’t trained in combat and Hayes was our technology specialist. They did pick up their weapons and assist the best they could.

“I think that one is pissed!” Liam called out as he threw a grenade from cover.

“Why’s that?” I called back mid biotic throw.

“Probably because I shot him in the face!”

In spite of the life or death nature of the situation, I couldn’t help but laugh.

We had thinned out the wave of hostiles when another enemy dropship appeared.

“Are you kidding me?!” I yelled as I muttered a string of curses under my breath.

“They are insane to try an air drop in this weather!” Liam yelled out as the dropship was struck by lightning. I let out a whoop of triumph just as I was knocked over from behind. One of those cloaked dog things had snuck up on me. Liam put a few bullets in it and I finished it off with a well timed biotic nova.

“Thanks for saving my ass!” I yelled as I offered him a quick fist bump and returned to shooting anything that moved.

“Anytime!”

“I think we got their attention,” Cora called out drily, followed by an, “Everyone sound off!”

“Present!” called Dr. Carlyle.

“Still here!” Hayes shouted from her position.

“Not dead yet!” I called out.

“Kicking ass and taking names!” 

_ Nice, Liam. _

I noticed that an alien larger than the others we’d encountered had joined the fray. He was massive and carried what looked like some sort of fully automatic machine gun. That thing was brutal and I could tell that it would rip through us if we got in it’s way. I decided it was time for drastic measures.

“Focus on everything except that big guy, I’m going in!” I shouted as I activated my tactical cloak.

“What do you think you are doing!” Cora shouted.

“Ryder!” Liam shouted.

“Just do it!” I screamed as I did a biotic jump across the ditch and took my position behind the big guy. I slammed him to the ground, along with a few of his nearby creepy friends with my biotic nova attack, followed immediately with a double biotic throw before they noticed my cloak had faded. The biotic combo attack finished off the big guy and one of his buddies, which distracted the remaining hostiles enough that I was able to recharge my throw and toss them like rag dolls in the air. Liam and Cora took advantage of that and finished them off. 

I leapt back over the ditch and up to where the team was congregated.

Liam was emptying his rifle into one of the alien corpses.

“Liam! Enough!” Cora said placatingly.

He stopped, rifle still pointed at the corpse but looked over and said, “Right, it’s just that these assholes killed Kirkland!”

“I totally get where you’re coming from but we need to keep our cool,” I said firmly.

Shooting a few more rounds into the corpse, Liam turned back to us. “Now I feel better.”

Shaking my head in exasperation, I turned back to Cora, to report on the two surviving team members and how shuttle two was in flaming pieces, when we heard Dr. Carlyle’s shout from behind us. He was supporting Hayes, who had been wounded. She needed to be stabilized, and quickly. Just as we were about move her into the shuttle, I felt the electrical charge in the air intensify. Stones were floating all around us and that strange blue energy cloud started swirling. We were about to be fried.

“Take cover!” I screamed, trying to figure out how we were going to get Hayes to cover in time. Suddenly, Cora ran over and stood between the group and the energy cloud and put up the most magnificent biotic barrier I had ever seen. The lightning strikes hit it over and over again and it never faltered. I was impressed, and, perhaps, a tad bit envious. My strength has always been in my offensive biotics. My defensive biotics suck, to put it mildly.

“Whoa! I didn’t know you were a biotic,” Liam said, a touch of awe in his voice.

“Don’t worry, it’s not contagious,” Cora replied drily.

Liam raised his hands in front of him in defense and took a step back, “Never said it was. I’m just impressed is all.”

“Mmmhmmm,” came her skeptical reply as she turned back to Hayes to assess the damage.

“Can you stabilize her?” she asked the doctor.

“Yes, for now. But we need to get her back to the Hyperion as soon as possible for proper treatment.”

Hayes groaned a little from the pain but managed to say, “I was able to repair the comms before the attack.”

“You are a lifesaver, now take it easy.”

“SAM? Are you there?” I asked, typing comm codes into my omnitool.

“Yes, Sara. QEC link established. The pathfinder wishes to speak to you.”

Dad popped up on my omnitool and explained that he had a plan to get the lightning under control so we could get back to the Hyperion safely. He sent us a navpoint and told us to meet him at those coordinates. The connection cut out as he shouted, “Damn! They spotted me!” 

It was decided that Liam, Cora and I would rendezvous with dad at the navpoint. Dr. Carlyle would stay with Hayes and try to keep her condition stable.  A feeling of dread washed over me, I couldn’t help but worry about dad. We had seen firsthand how merciless these aliens were and he had no one to watch his six. If the rest of this day on this murderous, psychotic planet was any indication, all hell was about to break loose. Again.


	3. Hitting Rock Bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> Ok, so this is one of parts where I took some liberties and changed what actually happened in game. When Ryder has just learned that her father died and she has been made pathfinder, nobody comforts her in game. In fact, Cora's the one who gets a comforting hand on her shoulder. And then, everyone leaves her alone with her thoughts and only SAM for company. I decided to go for a bit more empathy and camaraderie. I know that's what I would want if I was in her place.  
> Thanks for reading!

I was about to die. There was no question about it. I involuntarily gasped and choked and heaved as my lungs frantically tried to find enough oxygen to keep me alive. In spite of the agony wracking my body, I couldn’t help but think wryly, “New galaxy, new ways to die, right Liam?”

I didn’t want to die. I fought to remain conscious even as I felt my lungs failing, my vision blurring. Suddenly dad was there, kneeling in front of me, looking at my broken helmet –– his face a mask of horror. Our eyes met and I could see the fear in his eyes transition to a cool look of determination as he made a decision. I was ready to give in to the darkness that was clouding at the edge of my vision when I felt his steady hands detach my broken helmet, and, for the second time that day, I felt the sensation life-giving oxygen flooding my lungs. I looked up, still gasping for breath and saw that he had replaced my helmet with his own.

“What– What are you–” I whimpered.

“Shhh...deep breaths,” he rasped in response –– his words punctuated with frantic gasps for air–– as he punched something into his omnitool and I heard SAM’s voice clearly in my head, “Initiating transfer,” just before the darkness claimed me.

I was exhausted, but I swept in and out of consciousness several times in the next few hours, too weak to move or even speak.

––––

Cora was crouched over me –– still on that god-forsaken planet –– urgently speaking into her omnitool, though I was only able to process a few of her words, “––cardiac arrest! ––get her back to––” before the darkness swept me away once again. 

––––– 

Dr. Carlyle was shouting over me, “ ––prep the medbay. Now!” I recognized the shuttle around me and could see that Liam was standing at my feet before he rushed off. Cora and Dr. Carlyle were working busily over me before I once again gave into the painless state of unconsciousness.

––––– 

My head felt like it was about to explode, it hurt so bad. I could see images –– memories –– flashing before my eyes as I struggled back to consciousness, it felt like trying to swim through mud. I’d say it was like a dream, but I was in too much pain for it to be a dream. 

––––– 

I felt the sensation of moving very quickly on my back and could hear the sound of Dr. T’Perro’s voice raised in urgency as she worked with SAM to diagnose my condition. 

––––– 

I was twitching and writhing and crying out with pain when I heard, “ ––anesthesia! Her brain can’t handle the connection, get her to SAM node, now!” 

––––– 

I was being pushed on a hospital bed through the halls of the Hyperion as SAM spoke up, “Her implant is overloading––” followed by Dr. T’Perro, who repeated, “Get her to SAM node!” I struggled to move, reaching out for the people around me, attempting to grasp onto something tangible, my vision fading yet again.

––––– 

“Welcome back, Sara,” SAM greeted me when he sense my return to consciousness. His voice sounded different, richer somehow. It was as if he was speaking to me in a small enclosed space. I was in a dark quiet place. I could hear the whirring of machinery –– computers maybe?

I wasn’t ready to open my eyes and face reality, so I laid there, reflecting on everything that had just happened –– everything I could remember, anyway.

––––– 

We had met up with dad at the coordinates listed, and found him staking out a compound crawling with those hostile aliens. He explained that the strange obsidian tower in the middle of the compound was interfering with the dark energy, which he theorized was the root cause of the lighting storm. This made sense to me. I had thought several times that the lightning hadn’t seemed natural. Dad thought that if we could get inside the tower and shut down the power, we could stop the lighting and get out of there without the risk of becoming a crispy, fried mess. We stared down at the compound, each of us contemplating the pandora’s box we were about to open by storming that place.

“Who are those guys?” Cora asked, a tinge of awe and trepidation in her voice.

“Visitors like us, I don’t think they’re native.”

“They’re not. We came across an abandoned lab and it looks like they’re studying the place. Not to mention the crates of food and supplies that definitely looked like imports,” I confirmed.

Dad looked over his shoulder at me, a touch of surprise and amusement twinkling in his eyes as he said, “You actually did some scouting. Nice work.”

I was torn between being offended and amused at that, “You didn’t think I would?”

“Never know what a person is made of until everything goes wrong.”

Snorting, I said, “We’ve had a lot of that on this mission.”

Dad explained his plan for rearranging the playing field enough to give us a fighting chance when everything below us exploded. Apparently, he had stealthily set sticky grenades in strategic places around the outside of the compound to even out the odds. Without another word, dad jumpjetted down the cliff to meet enemy head on. Liam and I glanced at each other. I could see a smirk on his face, as he said, “Works for me,” and leapt off the rock after the pathfinder. Cora and I just shook our heads and followed after.

Dad had said the battle would be nasty and he wasn’t exaggerating. Wave after wave of those aliens poured out of the compound, ready to take us down, but we were a pretty damn good team. Dad took point in the fight with Cora covering his back with her long range biotic attacks and her dark energy shields. Liam was in the thick of things, throwing overloads in combination with Cora’s biotic attacks to take enemies down quickly. I raced around the battlefield like a wraith with my tactical cloak, knocking groups of enemies down with nova attacks and taking them out with biotic throws. We sliced through the enemy ranks like they were butter. 

Soon we had cut a path to the base of that terrible tower. Liam, Cora, and I covered Dad’s six while he worked with SAM to decode the locks on the tower door. Cora covered the left flank, Liam the right. I stayed in the middle to take down any stragglers that made it past our first line of defense. Once again I found myself pinned down in a firefight with my squad, though –– this time –– we were the pirates. It was a tough battle, but eventually, the enemy retreated and SAM decoded the locks to the tower. Dad sent Cora and Liam to round up the team and prepare the shuttle.

For some reason, the doors wouldn’t automatically open, so dad and I worked together to pry them open. I remember thinking: 

_ How does this tower really work? Why does it affect the atmosphere? How is that even possible? What other mysteries can I discover here? _

It was a fascinating mystery to solve, but, somehow, terrifying. I had never seen technology like this in the Milky Way. Were we simply children playing with a loaded gun?

As I gave the door a final shove to make sure the space was large enough for us to slip through, I asked, “So, do you really think this will work?”

Dad clambered through the space, into the room beyond. “Only one way to test a theory.”

I felt a sudden stab of panic. Yeah, we’d had a tough battle but my gut told me this was where all hell would break loose. Panic and hysteria edging my voice, I said, “Dad! Nothing else on this planet has made any sense. Just– just be careful!”

With a wry smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes in amusement, he quipped, “Worried about your old man? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” And with that, he turned and headed into the depths of the dark, cave-like room. A few steps in, he paused and looked over his shoulder at me, “Come on, these are the moments that make it all worthwhile.”

Together we approached a strange panel that appeared to be a sort of control center. SAM was able to decipher the language and I watched in awe as dad and SAM worked together to shut the tower down. I looked back to the entrance and was shocked to see that the lightning had stopped, the clouds were clearing, and a magnificent golden sunset was putting on a spectacular performance.

“I’ll be damned, it actually worked!” I whispered as I stepped back out onto the outside platform.

Dad stepped out behind me and, looking me in the eye, put a hand on my shoulder and said quietly, “There’s hope at least.”

“That’s all we need –– hope that it will work out.”

“Well, not if we stand around watching sunsets.”

We smiled at each other, and as we turned to walk back to the shuttle, a roaring sound filled our ears as a force rocketed from the chamber we had just left and tossed our bodies like ragdolls into the void.

–––––

I still felt a little groggy as I opened my eyes, which felt like a monumental feat in itself. Groaning, I tried to sit up. The first attempt didn’t go so well.

“SAM? What’s going on?”

“You were clinically dead for twenty-two seconds.”

_ Wait. What?  _ I felt a sense of panic wash over me because if I had technically died, what did that mean for the rest of the team. I gasped as I tried a second time to sit up. I managed to succeed that time, but it sure wasn’t easy. “What about the rest of the team? Did they make it? Is anyone else hurt?” 

In answer, I saw Liam sitting on the floor near the bed I had been lying on. He looked like he had been dozing, as if he had been there for awhile. At the sound of my voice, he jerked awake and looked at me with wide eyes. “You’re alive,” he said a bit breathlessly –– was that relief I heard in his voice? “Guys!” he spoke urgently into his omnitool, “Get to SAM node! Sara’s awake!” 

Cora and Dr. T’Perro came running into the room within seconds. 

“You’re up!” Cora exclaimed, eyes looking me over –– seeming to assess my condition. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been headbutted by a krogan and trampled by a pack of varren. Oh, yeah and I think my lungs are coated with sandpaper,” I croaked. “And, like I need a really strong cup of coffee.”

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Cora smiled and Liam snorted in amusement at my craving for coffee first thing after my near death –– or I suppose it was an actual death experience.

“That’s to be expected,” Dr. T’Perro commented, “You fell at least 500 feet and the atmosphere not only had very little oxygen, it had some an unknown element that irritated the tissue as it passed through your lungs.”

She then asked SAM for a reading on my vitals, and seemed satisfied with what she saw. She tested my reflexes, range of motion, and my ability to track movement with my eyes. 

Cringing as I turned my head from side to side, pain shot down my neck and spine like an electrical shock. I froze. Dad’s N7 helmet sat on a nearby table. I had blurry recollections of him removing his helmet just before I collapsed.

“Dad? Where’s––” I choked out, emotion threatening to overtake my sensibilities.

I had my answer when everyone became somber, avoiding my gaze.

“No…” I whispered.

Cora stepped forward –– trying to be strong, a leader, though her voice was shaking with emotion, and said, “It– it was either your life or his. And– he chose you.” She looked on the verge of tears. “I– I’m so sorry Sara. I know this must be a blow.”

I was in shock, too much so to even think of a smart ass comment. First Scott, now dad? Thankfully there was still hope for Scott, but dad? Yeah, he had become distant in the past few years but that didn’t change the fact that I loved my father. I could remember the good times we had as a family when Scott and I were younger and lived on the Citadel. I had admired dad and his accomplishments as an N7. We were very similar in our curiosity and determination to solve the mysteries of the universe. My stubbornness and determination came from him. I couldn’t process this truth, it couldn’t be true. Except– except it was.

I leaned forward, arms wrapped around myself as I felt tears flood my eyes. “Dad? No, I can’t believe he’s gone. We were watching the sunset, smiling about our success, and the hope it had given us all, and then–” my voice broke as emotion flooded my senses and I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks. I felt utterly alone. I had come to this new galaxy with my family with dreams of exploring the unknown and finding a new home for humanity. Now those dreams had been crushed and I was alone.

My head was still bowed and I was staring at the floor when I felt a hand on my back. Someone had just sat next to me. I looked over to see Liam sitting next to me, a mix of empathy and sorrow written upon his face. He didn’t say anything, I could tell he didn’t know what to say and that was ok with me. I appreciated his presence, and felt slightly less alone in that moment.

Cora continued, eyes downcast, “He once said that when his time came, he wanted to go out among stars no one else had seen.”

That sounded like dad. I was starting to suspect that Cora knew him better than I did, at least who he became over the last few years. I nodded and whispered, “Thank you.”

The humming of the computers around me drew my attention once again. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, I looked around and realized that we were not in the medbay but in SAM node. “Ummm...why are we in SAM node?”

Dr. T’Perro looked up at this and said slowly, her voice indicating uncertainty with a hint of disapproval, “SAM is now a part of you. In a way we don’t entirely understand. It nearly destroyed your brain and was as much a culprit to your condition as the lack of oxygen in your brain.”

“SAM, what’s going on?” I asked.

“Your father authorized the transfer of pathfinder authority to you before he died.”

_ What?! Are you kidding me? I’m in a coma and having a fever dream, right? This is not happening. Dad isn’t dead, Scott isn’t in a coma, I am not the last hope for all humanity. _

“Shouldn’t that be Cora?” I asked in disbelief.

Cora’s voice betrayed her shock and confusion, as well as a bit of betrayal. I had the feeling that she didn’t blame me, however, and said, “In theory, yes. In reality, you are the new pathfinder, Sara.”

_ No, no, no, no, no! This is not happening. No! _

I was completely shocked and nearly overwhelmed by the sense of panic threatening to drown me. “You can’t be serious. This is a really bad joke, right?” I looked around, hoping that someone would tell me that this wasn’t really happening.

Liam said, “What’s wrong? I think you’re up for it.”

“Right,” I said skeptically, “you were there for the last mission, weren’t you? I barely survived. Hell, technically I didn’t.”

“But you’re alive now. I see that you’re a fighter, you don’t quit.

Dr. T’Perro broke in, “It’s academic. SAM is linked to your mind on a deeper level and if you tried to pass that authority to someone else, there is a high probability that it could kill you.”

Silence.

Cora was the first to speak up, “Look, I know this is hard but we really need to think about what comes next. 20,000 people are counting on us.”

No pressure, right? If the ark was still stuck drifting in a dark energy cloud above a deadly planet, there wasn’t much we could do anyway.

“Are we still drifting?”

Liam said, “That’s the thing. Whatever you guys did with that tower saved the day.”

“The energy cloud broke up and Captain Dunn was able to get the ark moving again. We’re on our way to the Nexus now,” Cora added.

“She needs to rest!” Dr. T’Perro interrupted.

“She has two hours. We need our pathfinder for this,” Cora said as she turned to go to the bridge to update the crew. 

I nodded in acknowledgement. Regardless of the fact I had just been given the title of supreme leader of the human ark and the last hope for all humanity in the Andromeda galaxy, I still felt that she was rightful leader of the team.

Dr. T’Perro, shook her head in frustration and left the room, leaving Liam and I behind in SAM node. 

He had removed his hand from my back, but stayed sitting next to me. We both were leaning forward with our elbows on our knees. Even as emotion and grief threatened to overwhelm me, I appreciated his presence. It meant a lot to me that I wasn’t left alone.

I was still reeling from the shock of how my life had completely been turned upside down in a matter of minutes. Emotion and grief threatened to overwhelm me. Dad was dead. Scott was in a coma, and while the doctors assured me that he would be fine, it still seemed like he was hanging in the balance. I was the pathfinder. The pathfinder. What did that really mean? 

“Your father will be missed,” SAM said.

“Thanks SAM, what’s going on?”

“This is our private channel, I shared it with him.”

“Ok, can you tell me what the hell he was thinking, making me the pathfinder?”

“Unknown, but he never acted without reason. Alec would not want us to lose site of the goal. He would want us to continue on and grow stronger from his passing.”

That was true. That really did sound like something dad would insist on. I was a little surprised that SAM was not only capable of deciphering emotions but could offer appropriate words of comfort. 

“That is actually very helpful, thanks SAM.”

I glanced over at Liam and noticed that he was looking at me with an odd expression on his face.

“Why were you talking to SAM?”

“He was talking to me.”

“Really? I couldn’t hear him.”

“Apparently there’s a special ‘pathfinder only’ channel inside my head.”

“Hmmm…I suppose that makes sense. Do you need to talk?”

“Yeah, but I was serious when I said that I needed a strong cup of coffee earlier.”

“You want coffee? Now?”

“Yes, some people turn to alcohol, and, while I enjoy a cold beer with friends now and then, coffee is my go-to beverage.”

“Well, I think we can probably make that happen. We should go to the dining hall, I bet there’s an entire pot of coffee with your name on it in there.”

We left SAM node together and walked to the other end of the habitat area to where the dining room for this sector was located. I still felt a little like I was in a daze. The dining room kind of reminded me of a cafeteria with it’s rows of tables and benches, but my senses honed in on the coffee machine within seconds of entering the room. Liam laughed as I made a beeline for that wonderful, bitter, life-giving substance.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone move so quickly before they had even drank the coffee.”

“You should know, I need coffee to survive and I’ll do just about anything to get to it,” I found myself smiling a little in spite of the grief and sorrow and the shock that was coursing through me.

We picked a table and sat across from each other. I clutched the coffee mug between my hands and stared into it’s depths, that whirlwind of emotions still going strong. So many thoughts were flashing through my mind, it was hard to sort through them.

“Oh, I forgot to mention. While you were out, I checked on your brother. Still no change, but–” Liam paused and offered an encouraging smile, “–if you can pull through, I know he can. You are both fighters, a bit of your father in both of you.”

I looked up and smiled in return –– a tremulous smile at best, but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”

I decided that the best way to work through this grief was to just start talking in hopes that I could at least organize my thoughts in the process. I talked about the part of the mission that Liam wasn’t there for –– the skepticism I felt about the tower theory, the excitement I had felt over the mystery that tower presented, the gut feeling I had about the trouble that was coming and the joy and relief dad and I experienced together. I talked about the sunset we watched together just before the tower tried to kill us, and succeeded. I shared some older memories that I had of dad. I mentioned that we hadn’t been close since mom had passed away but I was still proud of his accomplishments and loved him.

Liam just listened and asked innocuous questions when appropriate, encouraging me to continue. I felt like the grief was a poison that was slowly draining out of my system, it was a relief. Of course, it wasn’t complete, I would grieve for some time but it was therapeutic to talk about it in the moment. I wasn’t the type of person who wanted to be alone with my thoughts, I needed to talk and I needed to be around people. I didn’t necessarily need a shoulder to cry on, just another living person who could empathize with me. Scott knew this about me and apparently Liam sensed it. I appreciated his presence and his patience with me as I talked on.

I looked over to him and said, “Thank you for sitting with me. I know that dealing with the grief of others can be awkward and uncomfortable, but I appreciate that you were willing to listen. It’s exactly what I needed.”

“Anytime, Ryder. I figured it’s what I would want if I was in your place. Plus we are part of a team and teammates need to stick together, no matter how awkward the situation.”

I smiled, truly feeling a bit better.

I heard SAM speaking in my head, “Sara, when you have a moment, I need to speak with you back in SAM node.”

I turned back to Liam, getting up from the table. “Apparently SAM needs to talk to me back at SAM node. I should go see what he needs before we get to the Nexus. I’ll see you on the bridge?”

“Sure thing!” 

“Thanks again, I feel a lot better.”

“Anytime, really.”

I headed over to SAM node where SAM explained that dad had some locked away memories within SAM that apparently laid out some mysterious plan he had that Scott and I needed to know about at the right time. SAM also believed that these memories would explain why he chose to pass the pathfinder authority to me and not Cora. The catch was that we had to unlock them by finding a bunch of mysterious memory triggers. 

_ Ugh. Of course you had more secrets.  _

I wandered over to dad’s quarters and looked around. I smiled fondly at his old coffee maker. I remembered that mom had bought it for him so that he would have a steady supply of hot coffee all of those nights he stayed up so late to finish his work on SAM. I pointed this fact out to SAM, thinking he would at least find it interesting.

“I did not realize that I owed my existence to a bean.” SAM said drily.

“Was that sarcasm, SAM?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes. Your father programed me with the capability to learn and to develop a sense of humor.”

“That…that is interesting. We’ll have to work on that. My sense of humor is way better than his was,” I said lightly.

“I welcome any instruction you may have.”

Smiling, I turned towards a desk that had a crap-ton of monitors hanging around it. I poked around until SAM said, “There are a variety of audio files that you may find interesting.”

I played the ones that weren’t encrypted and found some interesting notes from dad’s SAM research as well as a few messages from the asari prothean expert, Dr. Liara T’soni. Wandering around the room a bit more, I stumbled upon enough memory triggers to unlock the first memory. My throat tightened as mom appeared crystal clear in my mind. I was able to experience the memory the way SAM had. It was the day she received her diagnosis and prognosis for survival. I remembered that it had been bleak but I didn’t realize that dad had taken it so hard.

“Ryder, Kosta, meet me on the bridge. Captain Dunn reports that we are approaching the Nexus,” Cora’s voice sounded from my omnitool. 

“Be right there,” I acknowledged, followed by Liam’s, “On it!” 

Liam apparently hadn’t gone very far because we reached the tram at the same time and proceeded together to the bridge.

Entering the bridge, I saw the Cora was already there with Captain Dunn. The captain turned around and looked me over before saying, “Ryder, I’m glad to see you’re still with us. We’re approaching the Nexus now.” She nodded toward the huge window in front of us. I looked out and what I saw took my breath away. I knew it would be here, but seeing another sign of civilization that wasn’t out to kill us was a beautiful sight. 

“Wow,” I breathed, “Would you look at that?”

“It’s almost as big as the Citadel back home,” Liam exclaimed.

“The Nexus is the forward hub for the entire Andromeda Initiative. It’s the rendezvous point for the human, asari, salarian, and turian arks. They should be there too,” Captain Dunn explained.

“I sure hope they’ve had better luck than us.”

As we drew closer, I thought something looked off about the station. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. “Why is it so dark?” I wondered out loud. “Shouldn’t there be lights or something? I thought you could see the Citadel lights as you got closer to it.”

Cora looked ahead uncertainly, “It’s not finished. The construction should have been completed months ago. This is not good.”

“Could be worse,” Liam said in what I was starting to understand as his typical optimistic way.

Too much. Too much had gone wrong in a short time. I seriously was not in the mood for yet another fiasco shit-storm. I snapped.

“How?” I demanded, “How could this possibly be any worse? Habitat 7 turned out to be psychotic planet set on murdering any potential inhabitants, we may have started a war with the first intelligent lifeforms we met, and our pathfinder is dead,” my voice broke on the word “pathfinder”. “This had damn well better be rock bottom.”

Everyone stared at me in shock. I felt kind of bad for taking out my grief, fear, and frustration out on Liam. Typically, I was the optimistic one. I was the one trying to see the light in the darkness. But now– now, I couldn’t help feeling the exact opposite.

“Sorry,” I murmured and turned to watch our approach.

We couldn’t raise a live person on the radio so Captain Dunn ordered that we dock anyways. We had arrived, whether they liked it or not. 

Captain Dunn turned to look at me and said, “I got us here, the rest is up to you, pathfinder.”

Pathfinder. The word echoed in my mind. Pathfinder. Pathfinder. Pathfinder. I was the pathfinder, the entire fate of humanity in this new world rested on my shoulders. No pressure, right?

I felt like the walls were closing in on me, I needed to get off the bridge before I broke down in front of the crew. Turning on my heel, I fled the bridge as fast as I could, not looking to see if Cora and Liam were behind me. I fled to the tram. No one but us really used the tram so it was empty and quiet. I was free to fall apart for a few minutes without scaring the people who had placed their hope on me like a weight around my neck. I sat on one of the benches and pulled my knees to my chest, and leaned my forehead against my knees, hiding my face. I wasn’t going to cry. I’m not a crier –– it’s just not in my nature –– but that doesn’t mean that I’m not emotional. I sat there for awhile, my panicked breath bordering on hyperventilating.

I heard the doors slide open and could hear the sound of two people as they quietly entered. One sat on the bench next to me and the other sat on the floor in front of me.

“Are you ok? How are you feeling?” Cora asked from where she sat next to me.

I didn’t raise my head, so my voice was muffled and sounded a little shakey. “The captain just called me ‘pathfinder’,” I said this word with just a hint of bitterness in my voice, “Ready or not, here it comes.”

“Breathe. Just take a deep breath,” Liam said from the floor.

“Dad’s really gone, this should have been his moment. Not mine.”

“But now it’s yours,” Cora said gently, “and now you just need to decide what you are going to do with it.”

I looked up and met her gaze. “I don’t even know where to start. This,” I gestured to myself and around us for emphasis, “was not something I had even thought about, let alone mentally prepared myself for. I don’t feel ready for this.”

“The thing is,” Liam said, “is that life is unpredictable. Especially when you are in the middle of a crisis, then it’s even more unpredictable.” 

Ahhh, yes. The crisis response specialist, I suddenly remembered. 

“You should know this from your time in the Alliance. What sets a leader apart from their peers is how they handle the crisis. None of us was ready to fall from the sky on Habitat 7 and deal with the insanity we found there, but you handled it like a pro and kicked ass the whole time. You can and you will do this. I know you can do this.”

Cora nodded in agreement as I took a deep breath and offered them both a small smile as thanks. “Ok,” I said, “Thanks guys. I’m really glad that we are on the same team.” I stood and stretched a moment before I put on my confident smile face and said, “Let’s go find the advance party and see if they plan to welcome us in style.”


	4. Rising From the Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait so long for an update. I've been on vacation and I don't have my notes or laptop with me (hooray for iPads!). I Also, since I did't have my notes or the game with me, there may be a few minor details that I've gotten incorrect (i.e. NPC names, exactly what Vetra does outside the Initiative,et…)

_Are you freaking kidding me?_ I thought furiously to myself as I stormed through the operations center of the Nexus, fists clenched at my sides. I was angry– no, I was livid! I’m pretty sure that my face promised serious injury to anyone who got in my way at that moment. That would explain why most of the people I came across took one look at me and skittered out of my path. I felt a tiny bit bad for that later –– a really tiny bit.

I didn’t have a destination in mind, Cora was still working out the logistics of getting a ship with Director Tann. _She is a godsend,_ I thought to myself. It was true. I was beyond grateful that someone who had a clue about what being the pathfinder really meant was going to be around to help me figure it out. I still was having trouble accepting that I was the one in charge and she was my second. My natural instinct was to follow Cora, she knew so much more and had that military discipline that seemed more leader-like than my impulsive, comedic relief approach to life.  

I stopped and blinked at the sudden brightness around me. My feet had carried me to the security center of the Nexus, where Liam and Kandros were discussing the state of the station’s security and the readiness of the militia. Kandros was the head of the militia for the Initiative. As a turian with military training, he was a good fit for the position. Thankfully, he was also level headed and not a bureaucrat by nature.

Liam and Kandros both looked up at my approach, eyes widening at the look on my face.

“I know that look,” Kandros said, “You’ve just had your ass chewed by the bureaucrats, haven’t you?”

Thankfully there was no one else actually in the room with us, because I think I actually growled in irritation and started pacing the room.

“Whoa, Ryder, what’s up?” Liam asked with concern in his eyes. He was used to us joking together, I hadn’t had occasion to show my temper until now. I think he may have been questioning my sanity at that moment.

“I get it! Everyone is desperate and upset that shit’s hit the fan in Andromeda. But how is that supposed to be MY fault? After everything our team went through to get here –– both on the Hyperion and on Habitat 7 –– after everything I’ve been through, this is the welcome we get?!”

“Yeah, I still can’t believe we didn’t get a welcome party. There must be some champagne hiding around here somewhere,” Liam said, he looked around as if he hoped to find a crate of champagne hiding in a corner of the operations center.

I snorted as I continued pacing. “And Addison, that –– ugh! I can't even say what I think about her out loud –– from colonial affairs, had the nerve –– the nerve! –– to correct my grammar while demanding answers about dad’s death. Did it never occur to her that as his daughter, maybe, just MAYBE his death would affect me a bit more than it affected her –– who by the way said that she didn’t even consider him a friend. He just died yesterday, for crying out loud! And what’s this about it being no time for on the job training? It’s not like I applied for this job! I woke up after being dead for 22 seconds to learn–

“Wait. You were DEAD for 22 seconds?” Kandros asked incredulously.

I waved my hand dismissively as I continued my pacing. “Yes, but that's not important. My dad was dead and, like it or not, I'm the new pathfinder! No take backs allowed. Too bad I can’t get SAM out of my head– no offense, SAM–”

“None taken, Pathfinder.”

“–because I’d LOVE to see her do any better. Inbred monarchy, my ass! Ugh!”

Cora had walked in at some point during my tirade. She calmly interjected, though I could sense a hint of irritation peeking through her mask, “I agree, it’s ridiculous. You are the first pathfinder they’ve seen in over a year and all they can do is question your competency. But,” she continued in a much gentler tone, “they don’t know you. I do. And, truthfully, you are doing great.”

Anger still threatened to overwhelm me, but I was starting to calm down –– I stopped pacing like an angry lion anyways. “Thanks Cora, that really does mean a lot to me,” I said sincerely.

“Look on the bright side,” Liam offered, “I heard that Director Tann is requisitioning a ship and crew for us so we can finally go do some pathfinding.”

“Don’t even get me started on Director Tann. Yes, he is helping but I feel like he is using us as a pawn in some sick power game he’s playing. We can’t trust him to have our backs. Also, he reminds me of one of those people from the old zombie vids who have just had their brains eaten by another zombie. Seriously, the monotone voice and expressionless face, it’s really creepy.”

Liam snorted a laugh and I could see Kandros’ mandibles twitch with amusement at that comment. Even Cora cracked a tiny smile.

“Yeah, well, welcome to the Nexus. That’s pretty par for the course around here. Those two can be a pain but Superintendent Kesh isn’t bad.”

“Yeah, she actually came over and told Addison off on my behalf. I like her. I was starting to think that no one was actually interested in doing anything but talk and blame others for this mess but she is actually surprisingly reasonable and optimistic. It was nice to meet at least one person today with a friendly face.” I sighed, finally starting to feel calm. “Look, I’m sorry, Kandros. I didn’t mean to barge into your office and subject you to a hot headed tirade.”

“Hey, not a problem. I've had my fair share of angry tirades in this office so feel free to come vent anytime, my door is always open,” he said with a friendly turian smile.

“I’ll definitely take you up on that offer!” I motioned to my team and said, “See you later, Kandros!”  

“Sorry you guys had to see that,” I said repentantly as we made our way back to the tram. “I’m typically pretty level headed, but when certain buttons get pushed or I’m under pressure, I snap and the hot head I inherited from my dad comes charging out.”

“Hey,” Liam said, “It’s understandable, it’s a lot of pressure. Apparently, we’re everyone’s hope. Not just the Hyperion, but the success of the entire Initiative is on our shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, I’m with you one hundred percent, but it’s just…a lot.”

“This definitely wasn’t in the job description I signed up for six hundred years ago,” I said with a hint of panic in my voice. “Well, you’ve seen how I’ve handled it so far. It’s a lot of pressure.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling it. But remember that you aren’t alone in this. We’re a team, right? We’ve got this!”

He offered up a fist bump, which I returned with a grin. “Thanks, Kosta.”

During my time in the alliance, I had a battle buddy. Her name was Jen and we watched each other's backs in the field. The few times we had engaged with enemies, she covered my six and I covered hers. When we were off duty we would hang out together and joke or grumble about whatever irritated us that day over coffee or the occasional beer. I know it had only been a couple of days since we had arrived in Andromeda, but with the insanity we had already experienced together, I was starting to get the sense that Liam was going to be my battle buddy. We just seemed to click.

As we boarded the tram I turned to my team. “I need to go back to the Hyperion before we head out. I need to check on Scott before leaving, so that I can completely focus in the field.”

SAM piped up, “Please stop by SAM node before you leave. Your implant requires attention.”

“And apparently, SAM needs to poke around in my brain while I'm there.”

“Should I go and finalize the details for the ship requisition with Vetra?” Cora asked.

“Umm...yeah. That sounds good. Who's Vetra?”

“She's the one I've been working with to ensure that the details for our departure are all taken care of. She's in charge of prepping the ship and acquiring the equipment we need for our mission.”

“Oh, ok. Thanks, by the way for taking care of all of that. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. That's what seconds are for,” she said with a smile as she turned on her heel and marched back towards the tram. I may have been imagining things, but I thought I detected a hint of bitterness in her tone on the word “seconds”. _Perhaps the unexpected change of pathfinder is affecting her more than she is letting on,_ I thought to myself. I filed that bit of information away to keep in mind if needed.

I kind of felt silly for not knowing what needed to be done before a mission like this, but was glad that at least someone did. I felt like I should be more assertive and commanding. I seriously hoped that I would have a clue about what was needed for our mission soon. It was sure to come with time, right?

Turning to Liam, I asked, “Is there anything you need to take care of before we leave?”

“I'll go and get a feel for the new ship and assess the security situation.”

“That sounds good. Maybe check the coffee and beer supply levels while you're at it.” I said lightly. I may not know what goes into requisitioning and stocking a space exploration vessel, but at least I know what goes into preparing for my personal survival. Priorities, right?

“But of course,” he grinned at me, “I thought that was a given. A crew needs both of those things to function. Maybe I'll see if I can find that champagne while I'm at it and we'll throw our own welcome party.”

Smiling, I said, “I like where your head’s at, Kosta. I'll see you guys in a bit.”

“I know it!” he said cheerfully as we boarded the tram together.

I took the tram back to the Hyperion cryo bay, and he continued on to the docking bay.  As soon as I left the tram, I made a beeline for Scott's bed. He looked exactly the way he did when I left him. I had been hoping for some sort of change in his condition by now.

I knelt by his bed and took his hand. I could see he was breathing –– slowly and deeply ––  and his face looked peaceful. His color was good and his hand felt warm. I'm not a medical professional, but I thought that those were all good signs. I just wished that he would wake up. We had so much to talk about. And I needed someone to grieve with, someone who would not only truly understand, but also be feeling the same thing I was. I wanted him to tease me about being the last hope for humanity and the entire Initiative. He would find the humor in it, especially the part about me following in Dad’s footsteps.

I knew exactly what we would say.

_So, my big sister, the big hero of Andromeda, the savior of all of us lowly creatures from the Milky Way._

_Shut up, I'm not a hero. I haven't done anything yet._

_Ooh, is that an order, ‘Pathfinder’?_

_No, that's an order as your big sister._

_Right, I forgot. Sorry ma'am.”_

_You know, this could easily have been you._

_What? Lead? Me? No, no, no, bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded –– without any pants!”_

_“Right, you're such a dork.”_

I smiled to myself, feeling his spirit there with me. I said quietly, tears burning my eyes, “Hey Scott, if you can hear me, this is your big sister. Just in case you haven't heard, I'm the new pathfinder. It's a long story, I promise to fill you in when you wake up. But I'm about to leave on a mission. I've apparently got to find some crappy, broken world and somehow save it, which by the way, I have no clue how I'm supposed to do that. I wish you were awake, I could really use you out there. If for no other reason than emotional support. I've got Cora and Liam, and they are awesome teammates but they could never replace my twin. Seriously, without you, I feel like I'm missing my arms or something. Anyways, get better, ok? I don't know what I'll do if you don't. Love you little bro.”

I could have sworn I saw a ghost of a smile on his face and felt a twitch of his fingers, but that could have been wishful thinking.

Dr. Carlyle had been working with another patient, but when he saw me by Scott's bed, he excused himself and walked over to me.

“Hey Dr. Carlyle.”

He wave a dismissive hand, “Please, Alec and I go way back. And I'm not exactly a stranger to you. Please call me Harry.”

I smiled, “Sure, Harry.”

His demeanor changed to one of regret and sadness, “You have my condolences on your fathers death. Of all the things I expected to happen on Habitat 7, that was the last thing thing.”

“Thanks Harry, I appreciate that.”

“I just wish I could have gotten there faster, done something to save him. Though, I'm glad we were able to save one of you.” He offered a small smile.

“It's not your fault, Harry. So, is there any news on Scott's condition?”

“Not really. This stage of the coma could take anywhere between several days to several months. It's important that we let his body do what it needs to to to heal and revive itself naturally. His vitals are good and he shows signs of REM activity, so his brain is functioning enough to dream. That's a very good sign.”

“That's good to hear. Sorry if I'm pestering you, I just wanted to make sure he was doing well before I head out on my mission.”

“It's not a problem, I'd be doing the same thing if it was someone in my family. You'll be glad to know, however, that you can keep an eye on his condition through SAM while you're gone. I think we have got his SAM connection up and running again.”

“That is correct, Dr. Carlyle,” SAM said, helpfully.

 _Why didn't I think of that._ “That’s actually a relief. Thank you. Well, I'd better be going. Thanks again, Harry.”

“Good luck, Pathfinder.”

On that note I left cryo and headed over to SAM node where SAM zapped my implant somehow and relieved the minor headache I hadn't even realized I'd had. I just thought it was pressure from all of the crap I'd been dealing with since we had arrived at the Nexus. Once he was done, I headed down to the docking bay to meet back up with my team.

Stepping off the tram, I looked around in awe. If I thought the operations center was big, this place was huge. I supposed it needed to be if ships were able to fly in and dock. Truthfully, I don't know why I was surprised, I grew up on the Citadel afterall, and the docking area was similar. I guess everything that I once considered mundane felt new and different in this new galaxy.

I had no idea which ship was going to be mine, but then I figured it was probably a safe assumption that the ship was somewhere near the crowd of harried workers who looked to be moving supplies in and out of a loading dock, though I couldn't quite see the ship from where I stood. I assumed they were preparing the pathfinder’s ship for departure –– my ship.

I was about half way across the docking area when Cora caught my eye and gestured for me to follow. “Hey, Pathfinder, come check out the new ship.” She led me to a railing where I had an up close view of the sleekest, most beautiful ship I had ever laid eyes on.

“They call her the Tempest. From what I've seen, she's really something special.”

Words failed me. I had only ever ridden on large passenger vessels or military transports, never anything this specialized. She was gorgeous and –– I  realized with a mixture of excitement and panic –– she was going to be mine to command.

Command? What did  that even mean? How does one go about commanding something? I thought about one of my heroes, Commander Jane Shepard. She had been an N7, just like dad –– though I think she was at least a decade younger. The hero of the Skyllian Blitz. I had read about how she single handedly saved Elysium from a band of Batarian slavers –– while on shore leave, of all things. And about a year before we left the Milky Way, she became the first human spectre and was the one who saved the Citadel from Saren and that crazy monster –– was its name Sovereign? I couldn't quite remember. Dad had moved our family off the Citadel and back to earth by then.

I had also heard that she'd died just before we left. Her ship had been shot down by geth during a routine mission, though most of her crew survived, she didn't make it. Though I had never met her, I was crushed when I heard the news. I had started following her career when I joined the alliance and had really looked up to her, and considered her a sort of role model. I remember wishing that I could be as tough and charismatic as she was. And now I wondered what it meant to be a commander. She commanded her crew and her ship. How did she do it? Had she been born knowing how to command or did she learn the hard way? Would I catch on soon or would I fall on my face? Only time would tell, I supposed.

I was pulled back to reality when Cora pulled on my elbow and said, “Come and get a closer look. You should get to know her before we leave.”

I eagerly followed, wanting to see for myself what made this ship spectacular.

As we approached the loading ramp at the base of the Tempest, I could hear a distinctly female turian voice giving instructions for loading supplies and ensuring that the final checks were being made to prepare the ship for departure. I took another step closer to the ramp and looked up just in time to see the owner of that voice step confidently out of the ship’s cargo hold. She was way taller than me and had that powerful turian build.

I had met a few turians around the Citadel, but they were all male. One in particular stood out in my mind. A few months before we left the Milky Way, I was on shore leave at the Citadel. The Citadel was still recovering from Sovereign’s attack, but the Wards were still in tact. One evening, I'd decided I was in the mood for a little more lively scene than my favorite coffee shop and found myself at Flux. I found a seat at the bar next to a turian who, from the look of his armor, I guessed to be a c-sec officer. He introduced himself as Garrus Vakarian and  it turned out that he was an ex-c-sec officer and currently a Spectre candidate. I remember thinking that the blue markings on his face were interesting, though I wasn't sure if it was polite to ask about them. I also remember thinking that he had a really nice voice. Anyways, we chatted a bit. I told him about my work as a peacekeeper with the prothean research team and he told me about his friend, Dr. T’Soni –– THE Dr. T’Soni –– who was a Prothean archeologist. Of course I'd heard of her, the researchers in my group had copies of her research articles that they referenced often in their own studies. I later learned that both he and Dr. T’Soni had been part of the team that had helped Commander Shepard win the battle of the Citadel.

But I digress, my original point was that I hadn't realized that turian females would look so different. I think it was the hairstyle– wait, what did they call it? Right, the fringe. Apparently only the males have that long fringe that extends from the top of their faceplates and over their heads but the females faceplates end a few inches above their eyes. I thought it was odd at first since human females typically had longer hair than men but as I watched this female, I could see why. The fringe gave the impression of sharp points and spikes. But the lack of fringe seemed softer somehow –– more feminine, I guess.

I shook my head a bit to bring my mind back to more pressing matters than my random musings and observations as she looked over and noticed Cora and I standing there. A look of recognition sparked in her clever eyes, and she walked over to us.

“Pathfinder? Vetra Nyx. Logistics specialist, gun slinger and your all around get stuff done kind of girl.”

“Nice to meet you, Vetra. Cora mentioned she was working with you to get us out of here, which makes you one of my favorite people on the Nexus.”

Vetra gave me a friendly turian smile, and said, “Thanks, as soon as we got word that a pathfinder had arrived, I knew that you'd need a ship ASAP. So I started the preparations before Tann had even sent word.” She glanced over her shoulder into the cargo hold and looked back at me, her mandibles twitching up into what I was pretty sure was a mischievous grin. “Well, adventure awaits! Shall we get going?”

I stopped, surprised. “Wait? Are you coming with us?”

Laughing, she said, “Without me, this ship isn't going anywhere, trust me.”

As if on cue, a voice called out behind me, “Hold up! This ship isn't going anywhere! Director Addison expressly forbid it pending receipt of a detailed listing of supplies and a plan for–”

 _Ugh, one of Addison’s lackeys I swear, if I have to talk to her again today, I'm going to lose my shit...again._ I cut in, “Director Tann overrode her.”

Vetra held up a hand towards me and muttered, “I've got this.” Turning to the man and putting a hand on his shoulder to direct him away from the ship, she said smoothly, “Brandon, isn't it? You brought family with you, right? I heard you have a son still in cryo.”

That brought him up short, his shoulders slumped a little. “They said he wasn't essential. But I miss him.”

Nodding sympathetically, Vetra said, “I could pull a few strings, get him bumped to the front of the line if you'd like.”

“Really?”

“Sure, anything for a friend. We're friends, right?”

He looked a little hesitant but I could tell the wheels were spinning in his head. Finally, he let out a breath and said, “Ok, take the ship.” Then, to himself, he muttered, “Director Addison is going to kill me!”

I was seriously impressed. I made friends pretty easily and could generally get my way with a bit of smooth talking, but she put me to shame. “Nice work! I see what you mean now. I hope you're as good with gun as you are at wheeling and dealing.”

Smirking, she said, “First, it was an easy ask. The Initiative director had authorized the mission, it's not like we were personally trying to commandeer an Initiative ship. And second, I told you I was a gun slinger. In my line of work, you wouldn't get far without those skills.”

Curiousity piqued, I asked, “And what was your line of work?”

“Not much different from logistics specialist, actually. I acquired supplies and other things for clients and ensured they received them.”

Eyebrow raised knowingly, I said, “So, you were a smuggler in the Milky Way?”

“Smuggling is such an ugly word. I prefer ‘the inconspicuous transportation of exotic goods’. What my clients did with those goods? I never asked.”

Snorting, I said, “No judgement here. Welcome to the pathfinder team, Vetra. We should get out of here before Addison herself comes barreling after us. If I have to talk to her again, I just might lose it.”

“Don't take it personally, I think she has that effect on everyone. I just figured that if we are going to survive Andromeda, you need people to tear down obstacles, not put more up.” She paused and continued, “Would you like the grand tour?”

I smiled, “Yes, but you and Cora can go on ahead. I'll just be a minute.”

As they boarded the ship, I remained a moment at the entrance to the Tempest.

It was time to go. It felt surreal somehow, almost as if I were in a dream –– though nightmare may be a more accurate description. I briefly considered running back to the Hyperion to find a place to hide. If I didn't get on that ship, I wouldn't have to be in charge, right? But I knew that there was nowhere I could hide that SAM wouldn't be able to find.

I also realized that I was being silly. I wanted humanity –– and the others races who had come to Andromeda too –– to find a home. SAM and I were the only ones who could make that happen. I am not a selfish person by nature and I am not a coward. I really wanted to help and I wasn't afraid of the danger –– the mysteries of this galaxy were calling to me. My problem was that I was afraid of failure. If I failed, I was failing over 20,000 people.

I made the decision then and there that I was going to put on the face of a leader, I was going to rely on my team to help me, and I was going do my damndest to make sure this mission was a success.

I took a deep breath. _Ok Sara, you can do this. It's time to face the unknown. You've got this._

“Pathfinder, I detect increased an increase in your heart rate as well as increased adrenaline levels. Are you unwell?”

“No, thanks SAM. What you are detecting is the effect of being scared out of my mind.”

“I do not understand. I do not detect any immediate danger.”

I smiled at that. It was kind of endearing each time SAM needed an explanation about the way the world worked from a human perspective. “There isn't any immediate danger. I'm terrified of being the pathfinder. I don't know what I'm doing.”

“Your father always spoke highly of you. He believed you could succeed at anything that you put your mind to. He always said that he was proud of you and that you would do great things.”

That brought me up short. I knew Dad loved us, but I never realized that he had believed in me so deeply. I would have to deal with that later because now– now it was time to go.

It felt like everything that could go wrong in Andromeda had gone wrong. In the space of a breath, my life had changed –– I had been changed. My world as I knew it had burned to ashes around me.  What happened next was my choice. I could stay where I was, the way that I was, and drown in sorrows and what-ifs. Or I could rise from the ashes and prove to everyone –– to myself –– that I could accomplish the impossible. Nodding to myself, I made my decision.

“Thanks SAM, that was actually really helpful. Let's do this.”

I stood tall with my head up, walked with confidence up the loading ramp and on to the impossible path that stretched before me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I couldn't resist trying to make some obscure but plausible connection between Sara and the Normandy crew, hence the Shepard and Vakarian references (I LOVE Garrus! If I could bring him to Andromeda, I totally would… but he's wherever Shepard is, at least in my head cannon, he is) Also, did anyone catch the Allistair Dragon Age reference? One of my favorite lines, lol!
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


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